Black Men Dating White Women Makes Jill Scott Wince

shared her thoughts about interracial dating in an editorial for Essence.com on Friday (March 26). The R&B singer writes:

My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy. He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman. I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped. But something in me just knew he didn’t marry a sister. Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit…wince. I didn’t immediately understand it. My face read happy for you. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress.

Was I jealous? Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul’s credibility? The answer is not simple.

Check out her entire commentary here.


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5 thoughts on “Black Men Dating White Women Makes Jill Scott Wince

  1. Sarah Wingate says:

    I don’t understand how she can call herself not a racist or separatist when she is saying that she feels “betrayed” when she sees a black man with a white man. My husband is a black man and I am a white women. I didn’t look at his color when we started dating. I thought that this country was getting over the stupidness of seeing people in “black” and “white” but after reading this article I can see that people are still living in the past. This country has changed drastically since the time of slavery. This women wasn’t alive in the time of slavery, she did not go through the hardships that they endured, so how can she say she feels betrayed. I don’t understand how she can still think like this when one of our most famous artists and most beautiful women is Beyonce, a black women. I’m just saying

  2. English Yardie says:

    To Sarah Wingate – You don’t “understand” Jill Scott’s position BECAUSE you are a white woman. Most black women don’t have to ponder her response…it is something we can relate to without your level of confusion. Your further prove your inability to comprehend what it means to be a black woman – or black period – by your view that Jill was born post-slavery and therefore has no reason to feel “betrayed”. Don’t try to “understand” us, which you clearly don’t …because you can’t. And believe me we don’t need or want your understanding.

  3. Katie says:

    I read the initial article from Jill Scott.. and I read the response from Sarah Wingate & the response from English Yardie.

    I am a “white woman” whom can say after reading all points of view.. See that there is validity to both perspectives here.

    My personal belief is that “we all” are free to love whom we want without certain expectations of someone else’s likings or dislikings. That also goes for saying “If a black woman fell in love with a white man”.. Which does happen a lot too. Or Vise Versa…
    Or whatever cultural nationality… We as a nation are becoming the melting pot for all cultures…meaning we have begun to shed off the preconceived notions that one race is better than the other.. Or that one race has to specifically stay in its own culture…I’m glad to see that we have moved into an era where you see all nationalities with beauty gracing the covers of all major magazines and prime time networks.. This is a joy to see.. It would be a hell of a boring world just to see one race.. It is my view that we are making advances in ways we never have presently and I totally get that there are “painful memories” and things that cannot be undone. I’m grateful I was never born in that time period.. All of us should be so… grateful for the progress that has been made thus far and It’s great.

    I DO validate and can see where English Yardie has her views on this. I’m a white woman and She is a black woman and given all that has occurred within her culture and having parents, grandparents etc… that still remember the “stigma” that was placed over her race. Yes.. there has been a lot of change.. “for the better”..
    To you English….There will never be enough actions or deeds or etc.. “that will ever seemingly be “enough” to take the sting away”…Not by mankind…. But I WILL say whatever your belief systems are… Your Higher Power is the only one that can begin to heal feelings of betrayal and painful memories experienced.. I guess that is something we “all” have to personally get to a place of acceptance and willingness to work together for a common goal and respect of each others strengths and differences.. And we all need ” to learn” from the mistakes of “mankind” and always…always regard “all races”… with acceptance and dignity. The only way to move forward is to move in the same direction together…. And allow “healing” to take place.. through one genuine act of acceptance and kindness at a time…

    let’s be respectful of all nationalities and views.. We don’t always have to agree ..But lets learn from what we can and the newer generations coming forth from all nations.. are melding together.. which is actually a positive sign as we are showing interest in growing together not “going after each other” As we ALL need to remember something… A higher Power created US ALL…
    Yes there are many varieties of nations.. That’s what makes our World great. It is my hope and wish.. that mankind can realize we are all “one” world… And we must stop fighting against or among ourselves..

    I am married to a white man. Although was in a serious relationship with a black man in my early twenties..I learned a lot through that.. which I took from that experience the positives and moved onto my destiny..I’m happy and I’m also happy for anybody that finds “LOVE” in its purest form… Remember LOVE comes in many different packages.. and colors.. We all need to realize that.. Yes.. It may upset and hurt those whom are struggling to get beyond the hurt and anger.. That is a personal healing process that one must take individually… My best regards to all and I hope that we all can find a common ground towards something great..

  4. Autumn says:

    I understand what she means. All of you ignorant people that are saying she is racist are ridiculous, And to all you white women commenting About how wrong this is Need to stop because only a black woman would understand what shes getting at, Like myself. Not only do I understand how she feels, I also have her same view on this. Shes not stuck in the past She’s simply expressing how she feels on this subject. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion, I just so happen to have the same opinion as her.

  5. Tia says:

    Wow what can I say. I thought like some of you when I was younger, I am now 33. I thought love was love and it didn’t matter who you were with and that its MY business alone who I choose to be with. I am a black woman from the south and I went to school with whites, dated them etc. and I thought it didn’t matter because there was no difference between us. All the time however, many whites made it clear in their comments and behavior that I was indeed different. I attributed this to being those individuals and not the white race as a whole.

    Well, now I can say, no white people are not all the same, neither are blacks, we have our good and bad apples, but very generally, this is a racist society, and it always will be. No matter how pretty I am or sweet I am many people will look at me and assume a lot of negativity.

    Love is a choice, I learned that too, sure I could fall in love a some white man or Arab or Latino etc. I can do that. But I have a choice in who I marry and who I bring into the forefront of my life. Why bring those who have done essentially nothing or very little for me into the forefront of my life.

    Who we choose to love conveys a message to the world, yes it DOES matter because only 50 or 60 years ago we could not vote, we couldn’t go or do what we wanted. So why in 2011 are some of us choosing Whites . It hurts to say that, because I know it shouldn’t matter, in a perfect world it wouldn’t. You should be able to love who you want and that’s that. but this is reality we live in, and Black people have too much at stake in general, our culture is devalued, our lives and our voices. When I see the way the Republicans treat Obama, how they won’t even sit down and acknowledge this man, I am painfully reminded of how much it mattered.

    When I read Jill’s letter awhile back, I too thought she was harsh, what business of it was hers? Why did she care, now I understand. She cares because she loves herself and her people, and although logically she knows she shouldn’t wince and care, why is it a crime for a black person to do that.

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