Craig Kilborn joked during his Late Late Show ‘In the News’ segment on Friday, “Yesterday R. Kelly was freed on $750,000 bail, but that’s roughly what he spends a year on cotton candy and pony rides.”
Jay Leno again took a triple-humor shot at R. Kelly following his child porn charges. Jay joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Friday, “Boy, it was hot today, wasn’t it? Another hot day. Man, I was sweating like R. Kelly looking at his girlfriend’s birth certificate. Whoo!” Jay later joked, “And it looks like Osama bin Laden is finally about to be arrested. [ Cheers ] Yeah, yeah. You know, that last video we put out, turns out had two underage girls in it.” Finally, Jay joked, “How many have seen the R. Kelly underage ‘Girls Gone Wild’ video? Yesterday, Kelly was indicted on 21 counts of child pornography. It’s so bad, he’s thinking about changing his name to Father Kelly. [ Audience ohs ] In fact, in court this morning, he showed up wearing an orange jumpsuit by Grranimals. So that’s not a good sign. Not a good sign.”
Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue Thursday: “Thanks for coming out on such a hot day. Boy, it was hot today, wasn’t it? I was sweating like R. Kelly at the Miss Teen USA Pageant.” Later, Jay cracked, “R. Kelly said he wants to go back to the eighth grade. There’s a couple of girls he missed and he wants to date them. [ Audience ohs ] I guess — I guess you know the story by now. Rapper R. Kelly in trouble for having sex with a 14-year-old girl. You know what that means? He may be leaving R&B and going country. He’s goin’ country. He’s gone country — yesiree, Bob.” Finally, Jay joked, “Do you realize if he was a priest under the church’s new rules, that would only be his first strike?”
The Indianapolis Star reports Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott told fans at Thursday night’s Jingle Ball in Madison Square Garden to pray for her as she was recently hospitalized for an illness she would’t reveal, but a representative for the show later said she had been suffering from high blood pressure. Missy also joked during the show that she needed help onstage because her pants were too tight.
Bernie Mac gave Sisqo a hard time during his opening monologue to the Billboard Music Awards Tuesday night where he joked, “First of all, this is the Billboard Awards. That means this show is about the charts. If you ain’t number one, you ain’t got nothing coming,” adding “And just because you didn’t sell a lot of records don’t mean you ain’t good. You just missed the mark. I love the Sisqo album. He ain’t here.”