Bobby Brown Can Have Everything

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Wednesday night, “And some sad news. This rocked my world when I heard it. Stunned — I was stunned. Whitney Houston has filed for divorce from Bobby Brown. Whitney said Bobby can have everything. The house, everything in the bank account. The only thing she wants — what’s in the shoe box under the bed. I don’t know what that means.”

Why Whitney Left Bobby

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Tuesday night before it was made official, “According to the tabloids, Bobby Brown has left Whitney Houston. They broke up. They split up, yeah. I’m as shocked as you are. It’s always the couples you least expect. Isn’t it? You know what happened? Apparently Whitney came home early one day, caught Bobby hitting another woman.”

Bobby Brown In al Qaeda?

Carson Daly joked during his ‘Last Call’ monologue on Friday night, “There’s a woman claiming to be Bobby Brown’s girlfriend. This woman claiming to be Bobby Brown’s girlfriend says that Bobby told her that he was a member of al Qaeda. Yeah. Today, al Qaeda took responsibility for hundreds of terrorist acts all over the world, but strongly denied any affiliation with Bobby Brown. There’s some things that even al Qaeda — they’ll blow up anything, but they do not know Bobby Brown.”

On The Other Hand

David Letterman joked during his Late Show monologue on Tuesday night, “Osama bin Laden’s former sex slave now has a book coming out. And in the book, she says that Osama bin Laden is in love with Whitney Houston. And it’s interesting. It’s kind of — kind of — would be an interesting — on the one hand, you have an out-of-control maniac. And on the other hand, there’s Osama bin Laden.”

Who Woulda Thought

David Letterman joked during his Late Show monologue on Monday night, “Osama is madly in love, according to a former sex slave, with Whitney Houston. And who would have thought she could have done worse than Bobby Brown.”

K-Fed And Ruben’s New Track

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Tuesday night, “Hey, Ruben Studdard and Kevin Federline are going to record a duet together. No, this is true. It’s called ‘Ebony and Hillbilly’.”

Ruben And K-Fed Collaborate

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Monday night, “Ruben Studdard and Kevin Federline are going to record together. This is kind of cool, huh? An ‘American Idol’ and an idle American.”

K-Fed Teams Up With Ruben Studdard

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Thursday night, “In music news, Kevin Federline is now gonna be recording a song with ‘American Idol’ winner Ruben Studdard. I believe it’s called ‘K-Fed and Overfed’.”

Mary J. Blige To Appear In TV Soap

Carson Daly joked during his ‘Last Call’ monologue on Wednesday night, “This is interesting. I read today Mary J. Blige has agreed to appear on the soap ‘One Life To Live’, which sounds like a good idea. This might not be such good idea, though. R. Kelly has agreed to appear on ‘All My Children’.”

Heidi Klum And Seal Expecting Another Baby

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Friday night, “According to People magazine, supermodel Heidi Klum and her husband, Seal, are having another baby. Yeah. And Heidi says, she wants to have a water birth. So I guess that would make this one a Navy Seal.”

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